December, 16 2003

I signed up for the Gowings Club. It gives me a small discount in exchange for receiving the odd bit of email advertising. They sent me this today:

Subject: Champions of the World

Dear Gowings Club Member

On Friday last week we sent you an email with a “Gowings Club Member Only” special offer on Wallabies jerseys.

This special promotion was sponsored by a company trading as “Champions of the World” and contained their logo at the top of the page.

“Champions of the World” is currently trading from the first floor within the Gowings building on the corner of George and Market Street Sydney.

While we are very proud of the Wallabies we were not suggesting in any way that the Wallabies were the world champions or trying to detract from England’s victory at the recent Rugby World Cup final.

Thank you
for and on behalf of
The Gowings Club

And, in case you were wondering, here is relevant part of the original email…

Special Offer
for
Gowings Club Members Only

Wallabies Jersey
Was $139.95 Now reduced to $99.00

Gowings Club Members can take another $10.00 off
Only pay $89.00

… and so forth

Is this a genuine response to complaints by stupid people? Are there English rugger supporters out there with such a big chip on their shoulder that they believe that:

a. the original email somehow implies that the Wallabies are “Champions of The World”, ¹

b. a department store would attempt communist-style, historical revisionism on the Rugby World Cup, ²

c. this department store would attempt such revisionism less than three weeks after the undeniably exciting and memorable grand final, in the country that the final was played, while selling a product only likely to be bought by those who had actually watched the game, ³ and

d. those receiving the email might actually be deceived.⁴

And another thing: What were Gowings thinking when they sent that apology?

¹ If anything, it most likely implies that Gowings Club Members are “Champions of the World.” It second most likely implies that Wallabies Jerseys are “Champions of the World.” The only way you could make it say that Wallabies are champions of the world is by a careful and purposeful mis-reading.

² By and large, Australians care about rugby more than religion. They wouldn’t lie about something this important.

³ A corporation stupid enough to attempt this would have shot themselves in the corporate foot long ago. The fact that Gowings are still in business speaks for itself.

⁴ Whereas the only people I can imagine misreading the email like this already know that England won.